If you have recently discovered your partner has been having an affair, you will know how difficult it is to deal with. It’s not just the pain of the betrayal you have to try and process, it’s also the loss of trust in your spouse and your relationship.
Learning that a partner you believed to be faithful, was in fact cheating, can feel overwhelming. People regulary report to feeling confused, shocked, hurt and angry. Unable to fully assimilate and accept what has happened. Unsurprisingly, the person who has been cheated upon might struggle with the simplest of decisions regarding their relationship or day to day tasks.
Affairs rarely have just one cause and they don’t always happen because of unhappiness or dissatisfaction in a relationship. It’s vital that you both understand the real reasons why it happened.
Affairs, infidelity or cheating usually (but not always) arise in a relationship that already has underlying problems which have not been addressed. This can be hard to accept, especially for the person who feels betrayed.
Many couples seek therapy following an affair or infidelity. An emergency appointment is often requested immediately upon discovering an affair. This is because people feel they desperately need help in coming to terms with what they have found out. Sometimes the person who suffered the deceit finds it difficult to move on, and many years down the line it still eats away at the relationship.
Our couple counsellors will help you explore what had been going leading up to the affair. It is vital that you (both) understand the real reasons why it happened. This can be very painful. But it helps to know what went wrong, so you can both work towards changing things in the future.
Relationship Counselling can help the person who looked outside the relationship understand what they were seeking elsewhere. Click – Unsure what counts as cheating?
Only you can decide what to do after an affair and whatever you decide will not be easy. Affairs tend to wreak havoc in a relationship but they can also provide the opportunity for positive change too.
An affair can also have destructive effects on your family, children and friends. Even so, an affair does not always mean the end of your relationship. With hard work, commitment and patience, it may be possible to come through this crisis and sometimes it can make a relationship stronger.
If you would like some professional help through for surviving infidelity counselling then contact us at Relationship Counselling Surrey today Request an appointment
We are an experienced team of professional relationship counsellors located throughout Surrey. Relationship Counselling Surrey will help you gain understanding of your partner’s perspective. This will enable you both to move forward in the direction you choose.
Dear Relationship Counselling Surrey I can't thank you enough for all your help during our sessions. You have given me the tools and skills I need to move forward in a positive way. I particularly liked the way you had saved notes from my first contact for counselling so that at the end we could re-cap and ensure all my issues had been worked through. What was really interesting is the way you helped me to work through my problems rather than just suggesting solutions to me. I enjoyed my "eureka" moments where suddenly a penny would drop and I would see something from a completely different perspective. Thanking you so much,
"Kate Stewart helped us at a time when we were approaching rock bottom in our relationship. We both found her to be friendly, very approachable and reassuring. She helped us to communicate at a much deeper level and to understand the other's point of view. We would thoroughly recommend Kate to any couple going through relationship difficulties"
"Katrina is amazing! With her help my husband and I are back ‘on track’. Katrina reassured us that both of our feelings count and because of this Katrian gained our trust instantly. She quickly helped us to identify what could be causing our issues and how we can use simple techniques and solutions to resolve/manage/accept them. We are still using those tips now and we still remind each other when we need to of the wonderful guidance Katrina gave so that we can continue to benefit from it whenever we need to"
"I have recently been helped by Helen Lamming and through my sessions I can honestly say I have felt improvement. She helped create a open and friendly platform in which we could discuss the relevant topics that helped ease my overall stress and anxiety. I would recommend Helen very highly and I would not hesitate to book further sessions if I felt the need. I would also recommend the online sessions and found them far less stressful that adding extra travel to my day.
"Andy gave us what we needed and at a pace we could manage. He joined with us in our exploration so the Julie-and- I duo became a trio with And; working together to resolve our issues. After each session we felt empowered to take away what we had discussed so that we may consider this in greater depth in our own time. He was never the passive wall or mirror (which would have irritated and blocked our learning) but an active participant in our striving to move forward .
"We didn’t think we would be sat here together having enjoyed a family Christmas, when this time last year we felt we were at the end. Thank You for helping us find a way forward that suited us, and for your knowledge and understanding. We now are looking forward rather than dreading the future"
"We found Sian to be such a huge help in our quest for improving our communication skills. Sian will teach you how to think about your behaviour and what it's linked to so you learn to understand yourself and your partner a whole lot better. This is an invaluable technique,. She is also warm & fun which really helps!:)"
After only 2 appointments with things started to get better and then continued to grow each session after that. With our new communication skills and understanding of each other I feel like we are back in love again! I would tell anyone not to be scared or embarrassed and it is worth every penny"
"When my wife suggested that we should see a relationship counsellor but I thought it was a stupid idea and was very sceptical and cynical!. However, Allie made us both feel very relaxed from the outset and she never took sides in any of our conversations. Unfortunately we were not able to save our relationship but Allie helped us through the difficult process and made the separation so such much easier. I would recommend her to anyone who is having problems"
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